If you search for dildos online, you’ll find an endless scroll of phalluses of all textures and sizes. Sure, you could buy the first one that pops up, but we’re here to help you be a more discerning shopper. We spoke to sex experts and educators to help you pick one that’s actually worth your time (and dollars).
A dildo is basically a penis-shaped sex toy that can be inserted or used to stimulate the vagina or anus. If you’re a beginner to sex toys, you might be tempted to reach for vibrators, but experts actually recommend dildos as an excellent sex toy for those starting out too. “The primary benefit is that they give you more options for solo pleasure, pleasure with a partner, and total control,” Heather Shannon, LCPC, a certified sex therapist and host of the podcast Ask a Sex Therapist, tells SELF. Many can hook into strap-on harnesses so you can go hands-free with your partner, and if it’s just you, a dildo is a great way to enjoy penetration on your own.
“Dildos are so much more versatile than they get credit for,” Shadeen Francis, LMFT, an AASECT-certified sex therapist, tells SELF. “They can be phallic or fantastical [in shape], solid or flexible, and can come in every length, girth, and degree of curve.” Many are portable and don’t need batteries, while others vibrate and thrust. Some can suction onto shower walls, some have hollowed-out insides that cradle bullet vibrators, and some even have dual ends (or two heads facing the same direction, for double the penetration).
What should you consider when shopping for a dildo?
First, figure out how you want to use the dildo. If you’re curious to try anal sex or pegging for the first time, choose a dildo that has a shorter, slimmer insertable length to adjust to the sensation, Shannon says. To experiment more with feeling stretched or full, opt for a dildo that’s on the longer, girthier side.
Next, decide how realistic you want the dildo to be. There are many intensely lifelike dildos, down to the veins and varying shades. If that’s not for you, there are also brightly colored, glittery options, as well as ones that look more like abstract sculptures. Regardless of your choice, if you plan on sticking a dildo up your butt, make sure it has a flared base so it doesn’t get stuck, and always opt for nonporous, body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone, stainless steel, and lucite.
The best dildos
Below, we’ve rounded up the best dildos according to experts and buyers, all of which are body-safe.
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