You can do anal surfacing on its own or combine it with genital stimulation, or “anal pairing.” Nearly 40% of more than 3,000 people PLOS One surveyed said anal pairing also enhanced other sex acts, so consider adding butt stimulation to the techniques that you know make you (or your partner) feel incredible.
Try rubbing your or your partner’s perineum—a.k.a. the area between the butthole and genitals—to wake up the pudendal nerves, which extend from the bottom of the spine to your pelvis and provide sensation to the pelvic region. If you or your partner have a prostate, which helps produce semen and serves as a pleasure center, stroking or gently pressing the perineum can also indirectly stimulate the walnut-sized, nerve-rich gland. Whatever you choose: Don’t forget to wash your hands when you’re done too.
Use a vibrator.
If you’re looking for even more intensity—or if you just like variety!—break out a vibrator. “External vibration feels good against the anal opening because the anus is filled with nerve endings,” Matthew Lachman, LPCC, an AASECT-certified sex therapist, tells SELF. He recommends using silicone vibes for this, since they’re nonporous and won’t harbor bacteria—just make sure you clean your toys after each use with mild, fragrance-free soap.
A wand vibrator can feel especially fantastic on your butt, Taormino explains, since this type often covers a larger amount of skin than many other toys. “That’s going to really electrify the whole area,” she says. Don’t skip the lube, even when you’re sticking with external play—it will help you maneuver your vibrator back and forth, up and down, or in small circles. If you do use a silicone toy, opt for water-based lube to avoid damaging it.
A note: If you are experimenting with internal butt vibration in addition to loving up the outside, stay away from phallus-shaped or cylindrical toys. Choose a vibrating butt plug with, crucially, a flared base. You have two anal sphincters, Lachman explains, but you can’t control the powerful suction of the one deeper inside your body. “If your toy doesn’t have a flared base, it can easily travel up your rectum and into your colon,” Lachman says. Use lube with all internal anal toys: Since butts don’t self-lubricate and are filled with delicate tissue, dry penetration can lead to tears and abrasions, which increase the transmission risk of some STIs.
One more safety tip: It’s possible to transfer bacteria from your anus to other areas, per Planned Parenthood, which can lead to infections like vaginitis, so if you’re using a toy against (or in) your butt, don’t use that same toy in or against another orifice until you’ve washed it.
Give or get a rim job.
Anilingus, or rimming, is when a person uses their mouth to stimulate a partner’s ass, which some people absolutely love. “To me, it feels as good as cunnilingus,” Taormino says.
You don’t have to do anything elaborate to “clean up” before rimming, but you should ensure that your crack is adequately washed: You can spread and contract parasites, bacteria, and viruses through “fecal-oral” transmission. Taormino recommends cleaning the outside of your butt with gentle soap in the shower or using a flushable wipe to ensure that your crack is fresh and free of any toilet paper debris.
It’s possible to contract STIs through rimming, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention notes, so review safer sex practices with your partner beforehand. If you opt for a barrier method to lower your STI risk (or because you’re worried about taste or cleanliness), you can use a dental dam, a thin, square-shaped piece of latex or polyurethane that can be placed on the anal opening. Look for flavored options if you’re put off by the material’s taste. If you want more coverage than a dental dam provides, try Lorals—stretchy, single-use, latex underwear that are FDA-approved for STI protection. Lorals fit people whose waist and hip measurements fall between 26 and 51 inches—a.k.a. a women’s average size 4 to a women’s size 22 (the company hopes to extend sizing options in the future).
